She signed, in a very personable manner, with a "sincerely for House Beautiful" and addressed me as "Dear" but for some reason Julia Crislip was under the impression that my name was Variable Name. I really do wonder how could she have got that wrong for, seemingly, she knows me well – "as a former subscriber, you know better than anyone the value of House Beautiful ... and how it truly provides indispensable tips and ideas for decorating projects big and small."
Well, Ms Crislip, let's discuss why I am a "former subscriber" and do not intend to become a member of that group you describe as "returning subscribers like yourself." For a while, whilst Stephen Drucker was the editor, I thought House Beautiful began to be mildly interesting and, yes, I had a subscription but what drove me away was not so much the increasing diminution of interest – what I saw as an over-emphasis on props and vignettes – but more the way the subscription was handled – for I found my subscription had been automatically renewed, although I had not asked for that. This was in the days before potential subscribers were informed of this service. When I enquired about the surprising end of subscription date on the magazine label the man in your call center was quite snippy and when I reacted by canceling the subscription he informed me I would not receive the balance for that year. It's not a decision I regret, judging by what I see when I flip through the magazine on the newsstands.
In other words, Ms Crislip, not only have you been let down by another employee, but you are not served well by your proofreaders. As it happens, my name is not Variable Name. The words below the black frame – Mousetype goes here. Mousetype goes here. Mousetype goes here. etc. – only underscore that this request for my attention should have been more thoroughly checked before sending. I'm assuming this is where the legal fine print belongs, that perhaps only mice read.
If something so sloppy gets out of the advertising department might it suggest, perhaps, a lack of quality in the bigger picture?
Sincerely, but with tongue firmly in cheek, and in the knowledge that we all make mistakes,
Blue for The Blue Remembered Hills
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Blue, I'm afraid that the Golden Age of decorating magazines has passed. Writers stumble through trying to describe a residence never seen in person and leaving out the most pertinent information. Photographers rearrange furniture and move the same flower arrangement to be included in every shot. Resources are ineffectively listed for reference. The profession of Interior Design (and Architecture) has suffered because of this, but we can only hope for a turn-around.
ReplyDeleteI very much agree about the golden age of decorating magazines having passed. House and Garden until its redesign as HG in the 80s was my favorite. The only magazine I take on subscription or actually buy is WoI - the rest, most of the time, are not worth a glance.
DeletePitch perfect pique, Blue. And with good reason too. You affirm why I haven't and won't buy this magazine and miss House and Garden, which I did subscribe to before it went bust. Thank god WOI is still alive and kicking!
ReplyDeleteI'm working on an anagram of Variable Name to see if i can come up with another nom-de-plume. I too miss House and Garden in its pre-HG form and yes, you are right about WoI. If it went under it really would feel like a portent of the end of time.
DeleteBlue, I haven't bothered to look closely enough to see whether HB
ReplyDeleteis referring to me as TW or Variable Name, so swiftly do I discard
those subscription pleas. But that Variable Name is somehow priceless, encapsulating everything that is out of whack with the circulation departments of today's style magazines.
I too normally discard this kind of thing without a glance - as I headed for the trash can I saw the "Dear Variable Name" and began to laugh at the idiocy of it. It brightened my morning considerably.
DeleteIt's all about telling the advertisers that the magazine has a certain number of paid subscribers - hence the "continuous subscription service." Last year I found I had subscribed to one magazine until 2013 and had paid for it. I cancelled immediately.
Oh Blue, my own troubles with House Beautiful go back years now. I haven't really, really, really loved the magazine for years now (and don't share your opinion that it was getting mildly better under Drucker---but rather mildly worse. But as they send me a 7.00 subscription offer every so often, I continue to subscribe--despite the three years in a row that they claimed my subscription had never been paid (not true) or was still owing half (equally untrue), etc etc. Definitely not served well by their subscription department.
ReplyDeleteBut, as they do happen to be one of the least adventurous or broadreaching of the shelter mags, I just take it as it comes. My life would not change if it went under tomorrow.
Amusing post
When I first came to this country 19 years ago the first subscription I took was for House Beautiful. I remember, once i'd accumulated a pile and was leafing through it one day, thinking how mainstream the magazine seemed. There is nothing wrong in being mainstream but it was not what I wanted.
DeleteDear Variable Name,
ReplyDeleteWe have lost so many subscribers that we cannot name them all.
Too hot to mess around with Variable anagram, but Amen was quick work with name!
home before dark, thank you. How about Amiable Raven?
DeleteThe "Golden Age of decorating magazines" is dead. Long live the golden age of design media criticism. More please. I learn far more from y'alls' blogs and comments than I could ever learn from the magazines.
ReplyDeleteTerry, thank you. We're certainly mouthier than the magazines and we don't have sponsors to give us direction.
DeleteDear Blue,
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm glad you like "World of Interiors".
Coincidentally enough, it's one of the only-two magazines we receive at this house. The other, I'm perversely pleased to say, is "Vogue".
I should emhasize that I'm not interested in home-decor and am well-known as a haphazard (at best)-to- bad dresser.
Still (and as my partner and I were discussing last night, when the new WOI had arrived), the articles are just so surprisingly informative and interesting in both magazines.
I know, I know.....I sound like my father, trying to justify why my mother had found a "Playboy" in a house where she was trying to raise three very young boys. "Uhhhh...I buy it for the articles...?"
In any case, WOI is really invigorating. The book and art reviews/recommendations are particularly incisive.
Well, thanks for validating my own tastes. That's always (when it happens) a pleasant sensation.
Level Best as Ever,
David Terry
www.davidterryart.com
Blue, you nailed it. This was the most perfect rant, the most perfect rant, rant most the perfect, perfect most rant the.. and themes on a variable.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely break you two. much love, Rosie x