NQOC

On Monday I mentioned two correspondents who had worked in Roderick Cameron's house at Menerbes. Today, I would like to let my second correspondent be a guest blogger as it were - the quotation from her email is almost the whole of it. I also mentioned double standards – not, I stressed, on the part of my correspondents – and said I would write about that later. Later is now.

"You are welcome to use anything I tell you, but I would prefer without attribution, as Mr Cameron was a very private person.  I think his mother must have been quite a character: she was certainly very beautiful - there was a photograph of her wearing coronation robes that stood in the library corridor.

"Shortly before I went out to France, Mr Cameron had been interviewd by "The Tatler", so if you haven't seen that article - I can't find it on the web - you might care to look it up.  I can tell you that Mr Cameron was not very happy about it because he felt misrepresented, not least because it made him seem rather camp, which he most certainly was not.

"To say he was waspish, which the other article does, is less than fair: he could be irascible, but he was never anything less than a charming host, and was very kind to us while we were in his house.  We had an apartment at the end of a corridor, which we christened "Chez les esclaves" which he thought was rather droll, and it comprised two bedrooms, a sitting room, kitchen and bathroom.  Mr Cameron was very worried that we might not manage with just a single bathroom, and said that so long as the guest room along the corridor was not being used, we were welcome to use its accompanying bathroom which was across the corridor!  Each of the bedrooms had its accompanying bathroom - at the time, this was unimaginable luxury.  And even in our humble abode, we had Somerset Maugham's table, and various horticultural prints. 

" ... It really was the most beautiful house - I gather the local planning authorities threw out the first design because its large glass windows were deemed not in keeping with local architecture, so new plans were submitted and passed, and it was then built with small windows on the road side, and vast expanses of plate glass on the other side, away from prying eyes!  This meant that the house was both very light inside, and also that the village of Menerbes could be seen across the valley from the dining room window, like a sort of real-life panorama.  And of course, I must tell you about the garden, because that was Mr Cameron's hobby, and he managed to create an English garden in southern France.  He used to go to the Chelsea Flower Show every year, and his garden really was beautiful in that very English style of improving on nature, by which I mean that it gave the impression of being almost natural, and this took a great deal of time and effort! 

"I loved living in the house: I loved being surrounded by beautiful things, and as an English graduate, I particularly appreciated the books, which we were free to borrow as we would." 

So, double standards? I think if you are a woman you know that in any position of power you are subjected to a higher and meaner standard than would be a man in the same position. My boss? He's a hard-ass go-getter! My boss? She's a b.... I don't like the word unless it is applied where it belongs - a female canine. The same management style common to both sexes, but the woman is judged differently - a classic double standard.

And so it is if you are homosexual you will understand what I mean when I say that you are not quite on the same level of humanity as your heterosexual acquaintance - a plane shared by many a so-called minority. Minority - how subtle the language of the marginalization of those we find unacceptable! The name minority isn't just a just a census-derived category, it is also a respectful-sounding title for that very old group the other.  NQOC as the Brits would say.

Why then has this subject arisen? Well, as in many situations in life, seemingly random threads come together and form a pattern or create something that is against the grain. When my correspondent, who clearly had much liking of and respect for Mr Cameron, pointed out that someone had referred to Roderick Cameron in print as 'waspish' it reminded me where I had read the same thing and that article sent me here where I found a phrase that is also a classic example of double standards being applied, and this time to a long-dead gay man.

"Lees-Milne is best known for his diaries, which I admit I never read. In his biography, however, I came across his mean-spirited and back-biting, waspish comments about some friends of mine - all heterosexual, I may add - which I obviously didn't like. In contrast, he refers to Rory Cameron and to his mother's house on Cap Ferrat, La Fiorentina, as something exceptional. Actually I went there about five times and thought it was the pits. Cameron was a grab-arse pansy, now long dead of Aids, [my italics] who used the house to lure young tourists on board, his mother a terrible snob who pretended to come from something she didn't come from. I smelled things early one and stayed away."

Not just for this writer was Mr Cameron acting differently from heterosexual males (after all he was a pansy) but he died of Aids. A heterosexual man acting the same would not have been remarkable - nudge, nudge, wink, wink - and the fact he died of Aids would not have been noted. Consider: now long dead of lung cancer? 

In the words of Joe Cable


You've got to be taught to hate and fear
You've got to be taught from year to year
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught


You've got to be taught to be afraid 
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade


You've got to be taught before it's too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate


You've got to be carefully taught.

"You've got to be carefully taught" from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, South Pacific. 


Photographs by John Vere Brown for an essay written by Roderick Cameron published in The World of Interiors, April 1984.